Monkey Butt House of Horrors!

[bukwheat]

Yep, I got it bad. I rode the Gobbler Getter Enduro at Perry Mtn yesterday and I am one hurtin' dude today.

Other than the ape ass problem, it was great. It was a hard, rough 64 miles. Excellent trails that kept everybody on their toes. The monkey butt set in about mile 20 and I greased up again at the gas stop but it didn't help. There was a 12 mile section at the gas stop restart and I was flailing thru that and the rest of the checks. I was hurtin' and I couldn't get any kind of rythym going and just expended way too much energy. They made a mistake of making check #10 (next to the last check, they had 11) very close to the camp/pits. Right out of ck 10 they had us going up a gnarly, silty hill with nasty rocks which was lined with spectators since it was so close to the pits.
There were quite a few stalled out on the hill. I put the 300 in 3rd gear and picked my way up the hill and cleaned it nicely but when I got to the top, my hands were cramping so bad and my butt was raw so I decided to pack it in.
From what I can tell, I had only about 6 miles to go....

I met Clay there and that was great. The guy is always interested in how to improve the operation. Very receptive. It was great to meet you, Clay.

Oh, I just found out a little while ago, I got 3rd in my class which surprised the hell out of me....now I can say, I have trophied in 5 decades!!!

 

[BluegassXCR]

Sweet...Hows the Rekluse....

i use tons of Stick deoderant on my ass before any long race/ride...

monkey butt is caused my sweat between the cheeks....deordorant stops the sweating...

Hurbert Auriol the famous Dakar director/ multitime winner gave me that tip years ago...

I suggest using a different for you under arms and your ass tho...LOL

 

[bukwheat]

Sweet...Hows the Rekluse....

i use tons of Stick deoderant on my ass before any long race/ride...

monkey butt is caused my sweat between the cheeks....deordorant stops the sweating...

Hurbert Auriol the famous Dakar director/ multitime winner gave me that tip years ago...

I suggest using a different for you under arms and your ass tho...LOL

I will have to try the deoderant trick, Heck, I'm game for anything. I have the padded bicycle shorts, use Belgium Butt Budder and try to stand up as much as possible.

Haven't got the Rekluse installed yet, ran out of time. My dad has been in the hospital and that has had me running pretty good.

 

[mxdad316]

Note to self: If riding with Alan and I get a whiff of crap & right guard it means he FARTED! Ha ha I'm sorry I just picture Fabio holding a tube of ointment pointing at his ass saying I can't believe it's BUTT BUDDER! My ass and the rest of me hurts but I finished the Gobbler Getter. It was not pretty, but I made it out alive. I just read that next year it's gonna be a national too. I will be remembering parts of this race for the next month, but one part stands out. There was one downhill steep enough they made us go down one at a time. After I reached the bottom I went maybe 100 yds. and then I made a hard left and had to climb the same vertical wall with no running start! I looked up at the top and all I could see was the sun shining right in my eyes, so I just hit it with all I had & hoped for the best. There were two guys behind me who watched as I looped my bike up and over the top and I somehow landed up there beside it. Those guys are probably still laughing! I left my mark on lots of trees, and they made marks on me too, but it's all good. Great race put on by some fine folks. Everybody needs to do it at least once.

 

[LAWMAN]

"I greased up again at the gas stop but it didn't help."

AAAHHHH!!!!! My eyes! My eyes! Too much information!

 

[lankydoug]

http://www.drugstore.com/boudreauxs...eaux butt paste&adpos=1t1&creative=7023955755

I used this after riding 120 miles last week on my mountain bike. 5 stars lol It would sound kind of weird to give it 2 thumbs up.

 

[bchatt]

The best way to cure monkey butt is to fit the seat off an '07. They are so hard there is no way you can sit down long enough to generate chafe!

 

[Robby45]

I feel ya.

Took my britches off Sunday night after the Gobbler and the wife said "ewww... what happened to your ass?"

I hadn't raced in about 6 months due to an ankle injury; man I was in bad shape. I'm trying that deordorant trick next race.

What a great day and course though. This was my 4th enduro at Maplesville and was definently my favorite. I've got some video I'll try to post soon.

 

[stainlesscycle]

I feel ya.

I hadn't raced in about 6 months due to an ankle injury; man I was in bad shape. I'm trying that deordorant trick next race.

i thought i would build up a tolerance for it, i've done close to 30 races this year already. still painful on monday and tuesday. and i have an 07 seat!

i'm switching the padded riding shorts out to something else (don't know what yet..) - i already baby powder... i'll try the diaper rash stuff, if it works... i onlly have 3 or 4 more races left this year, then my butt will get a break....

 

[GMP]

I switched to an '08 seat on my '07. Its a little softer, but more important has a rounder profile. Big difference.

 

[rgranger]

I found that the padded bike shorts caused more friction where you don't want it. I just use some New Balance lycra shorts now, they are like long jocky shorts butt they seem to be less abrasive.

 

[swazi_matt]

+1 I have also found the best is to wear two pairs of cycling shorts without the padding. Lycra or nylon, something that does not absorb sweat

 

[desertgasser300]

Took a pic of my severe monkey butt, but I cant seem to post the pic correctly.....................................J/K!!

Ditto on the biking shorts. I wear the ones with padding, only because I have broken my tail bone twice and it is still a bit tender. The material will not rub your skin raw like other types of materials will. Even the under armor undies will rub me raw!

 

[rbm33]

alot of people like to make the comment "this thread is useless without pics" but in this case i think we can live with out the pics!! lol

i had my camelback leak down back a few winters ago and it gave me the worse case of monkey butt i have ever had. after i made made three hour drive home and got out of the shower i was looking from some relief in the medicine cabinet and found a tube of the wifes Vagasil. i figured what heck, this should help so i applied a generous amount to the raw areas. i swear that stuff must be made of pure 100% alcohol in a gel form. it literally set me on fire i had to jump back in the shower and wash it off ASAP and lay with my legs up with the cool water running over me for a good 10 minutes!!

luckily my wife was laughing so hard that she didnt think to grab the camera!!

 

[blitz11]

Killer story. Thanks. I think.

 

[lankydoug]

This thread has the best title of any thread so far. I laugh out loud every time I read "Monkey Butt House of Horrors". You should copyright the name and sell T-shirts.

 

[wasp4banger]

Got serious rub on a baking hot two day enduro. Getting back on the bike on day two brought a tear to my eye.

Ever since I ride with cycling shorts with padding / chamois to absorb the sweat which works great.

A mate did tell me that use of a banana between the cheeks would ease the pain, not sure if he was for real or just wanted to see if would be stupid enough to try it.

 

[waycrazy]

RBM33 you are a brave man for sharing a story like that. I don't think I would've. But I am glad you did. I am still laughing 2min later.

 

[skid jackson]

you guys must be candy asses!! ...
If I'm doing a long day in the saddle I go with the padded bike shorts. I don't think I have ever got a real case of monkey butt

 

[bukwheat]

you guys must be candy asses!! ...
If I'm doing a long day in the saddle I go with the padded bike shorts. I don't think I have ever got a real case of monkey butt

Yeah, when I was a youngin' I never had this problem. Real good(bad) monkey butt comes with age, I believe....

I would assume from you screen name, "skid" you have skid marks in those padded shorts after a ride..... just kiddin' wit cha....