after some digging around I found that it is a JAE 18 position connector that you can get on mouser for pretty cheap
https://www.mouser.com/ProductDetail/JAE-Electronics/MX23A18SF1?qs=6xtm2vwqiW9ZHosg6f1pmw==
They sell the pins as well, and if you want to buy the crimper for $1600 they have those as well, or you can get this one off of amazon for $23 that works great
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B017JU20Z6/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
and for a de-pinning tool, I just took a small screwdriver and ran it down a belt sander until it fit into the larger holes on the connector. If you put a small bend on the end, it slips behind the pin and you can slide the wire right out of the connector.
Its pretty handy to have this, if you have a connector that someone decided to cut the wires off of right next to the connector and put crappy crimp connectors on that cause an intermittent loss of ground and the bike to randomly die. Please don't let tweakers work on bikes.