Bruised Manhood

[WoodsRider]

I guess there's a first for everything. At the NETRA Noble Woods Enduro (Burwick, ME) I sustained a very unusual injury. While coming around a corner, a rider in front of me was stuck on a log. To get around him I hit the log at an angle. Not a very smart move as I ended up going over the bars... sort of.

Everything happened so fast that I'm not really sure how the crash initiated. One end of the handlebar was sticking up in the air and I was coming down on top of it. This is when things started moving in slow motion. Luckily I missed the important part(s), but ended up landing where the prostate is located. I must've let out some sort of moaning shreik as the stuck rider came asked if I was okay. Not really sure if I was still a man, I got my foot unstuck from underneath my bike and looked down. I had ripped the fly open on my riding pants and couldn't get the zipper unstuck. I pulled off my tool belt and reached down to take inventory and make sure I wasn't bleeding profusely. Everything was where it's supposed to be and there was no blood, so I continued on and finished the event.

Afterwards I called the doctor. I was concerned about damage to my prostate. The doc on call stated that as long as there was no blood in my urine, everything should be fine. The best thing to do would be to ice it down. Yeah right, that's exactly the area I want to put an ice pack. Four days later there's been no blood in my urine, but a huge and colorful hematoma has appeared right above my manhood. My johnson looks like the dark spectrum of a rainbow. The only time it hurts is when I bend over. However the pain isn't excruciating, like the time I took a baseball in the twins. This is probably the worst bruise I have ever suffered.

 

[Dave]

My son has a tee shirt that reads "It's funny until someone gets hurt - then it's hilarious!" Funny write-up, sorry about the accident.

 

[cdn280]

Sounds similar to an event I had on a snowmobile. Slow riding in fresh snow (maybe 15-20kph) and the ski hooked on a deep rut beneath. Bars went to full lock, I went forward almost over the windshield, but I was stopped by the end of the bar jamming into my pubic bone about 2" from my unit. Talk about breath taking ! Big purple and rainbow bruise too. It went away eventually but was very colorful and tender for a month or more.

 

[MattR]

Ouch!!! Just thinking about that makes me cringe. I'm glad you are ok... a few mm's more and you would have been twisting the throttle with your butt checks.

So you "called" your doctor instead of having a prostate exam or colonoscopy? You missed out on the fun.

 

[Loosenut]

I was racing a harescrambles a several years ago and dropped the front end in the whoops. I started going over the bars, but my Scotts stearing stabilizer stopped me. I slammed my pubic bone into the Scotts about 1 inch above the old Men's Wearhouse if you know what I'm saying. It took about 4 weeks for all the bruising to go away.

Mike Baxter

 

[eff]

Is that where the loosenut came from?

Sorry I couldn't resist!

 

[gascanuck]

It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who has given the boys something they didn't deserve. I only smashed them on my seat doing an emergency stoppie from about 25 mph,but it is no less painful. I really hope that you guys have recovered properly from your mishaps and as much as a guy wants to laugh, if it's ever happened to you, it's really not that funny. All I can say is bless the man who created the seat on the tank we all have on our bikes.

 

[roostafish]

You know, I must be sick, because I enjoyed all of these posts. I have one of my own though, and, well, I'm not bragging, but........ I have had my pubic bone bruised during, um, coitus. It hurt, for several days, more than a week actually. My spirited fem was not very amused either. It was the first time, ever that I had to turn the little woman down. Ouch.